my guide to having (or faking) confidence

hey everyone!!

I hope you’re all doing amazing on this fine Sunday evening

I was initially going to do a post on my favourite lyrics ever but I realised that would take quite a while for me to write and I really wanted to post today so I’m saving that for another day (just so that I can pour my entire heart and soul into it, you know?).

So instead of that, here is my guide on having/ faking confidence.

Anybody who knows me in person knows that confident is NOT one of the first words they would use to describe me. In fact, it probably wouldn’t even be on the list because I lost any shreds of confidence I may have had before during the pandemic. HOWEVER, I have been feeling a bit more confident lately for some reason so this is me talking about things that make me feel confident or fake confidence (I mean fake it till you make it right? right. because law of attraction and you attract what you think about and all that jazz).

Firstly, I think body language is super important. Certain things might make you seem insecure or nervous, even when you’re not. Try not to cross your arms or slouch. Instead, pretend you’re some kind of royalty and everyone already loves you so all you have to do is look cool for them. It’s random but quite helpful.

Secondly, eye contact. I KNOW. I know. Eye contact can sometimes be one of the most painful things to exist but if you can try to maintain it, you’re going to look like you’re one of the most amazing beings on Earth and aware of it. I’m not saying look the other person dead in the eye for your whole 10 minute conversation (it definitely won’t last that long if that’s what you’re doing) but you can try to keep eye contact for at least 7-10 seconds and then look around for a bit and then look back for a bit again. Just make sure it’s not like two seconds and very quickly looking away as that makes you seem scared.

(now for the tips on actually being confident, not just looking)

Then we have affirmations. Saying affirmations like “I am extremely confident” or “I am always fearless” will over time actually make you confident and fearless because you’re telling your mind that is what you are and you just assume that identity (once again, law of attraction. search it up). I try to say affirmations related to confidence (such as this list) every morning and perhaps that has helped? I think it has soooo try it out.

The next tip is one that you might hate me for but I had to say it because it’s the truth. Do things that you are scared to do, or things you don’t think you are good enough for. Because you can literally do anything. I’m telling you. It is what it is so believe it or don’t believe it. When you do something you’re not very sure about doing you’ll realise that it’s not too bad after all and you will get practice doing unfamiliar things until eventually they become familiar. Even something as simple as answering a question in class is a great place to start off.
I actually did that recently. In music class in school we learn and play songs as a class and obviously for that we would need someone to sing. All of last year and the first week of this year the teacher was the one singing but last week he asked me and this other person to sing instead and I was about to be like “hahaha no it’s fine” because that thought scared me and I didn’t feel confident enough to. But another tiny part of me was like “this is how you BECOME confident” so I said yes and I had to sing into a microphone in front of the whole class (with my friend who very kindly offered to make me feel less awkward. shoutout to Netra) and lol I hated it but also loved it. I think I’m going to have to do that every time we play now, so by December I’m going to be ready for the Grammys; watch out guys 😚👊🏼

Aaand last but not least, my favourite tip; LISTEN TO HYPE MUSIC. For me, songs by Little Mix, from Reputation by Taylor or songs by Abigail Barlow make me feel like I rule the world. I highly suggest listening to any upbeat (bonus points if they’re self-empowering) songs in the morning that will set a great tone for the rest of the day. Here are some personal favourites that I actually dance to while I brush my teeth every morning lol:

  • Girl Almighty – One Direction
  • All Me – Boys World
  • Wings – Little Mix
  • just like magic – Ariana Grande
  • Getaway Car – Taylor Swift
  • Nobody Cares – Abigail Barlow

tadaaaa!! I hope you guys made it through and enjoyed this post because I really enjoyed writing it!

chat with me in the comments about whether you think you’re confident or not and things that help you feel more confident because trust me, I still need advice. or talk about other things too, what was the best thing that happened recently? what is your favourite type of weather? when is your birthday?? 💞

Song rec. of the post: Ocean Away by Barlow & Bear. This song is my favourite right now but the entire concept album is SO GOOD MY GOSHHHH. Abigail and Emily are insanely talented, my queens 👑 Currently going crazy for this song along with Every Inch so go on and listen to them and fall in love with them. or don’t, your choice.

Lots of love,

Hreem xxx